"To love what one has is to be resigned to never getting what one wants."

(pensee in the subject line by Natalie Clifford Barney)

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually missing school. I was looking thru my old entries trying to find something, and it made me think that. I mean, it's really silly, I suppose, since most of last semester I was depressed, and then there was the whole too depressed to go out with people bit where I holed myself in my room for like the whole semester - thank you to the cripling mental effects of isolation. But it at seems more fulfilled than my life is right now. I mean, at least I was doing something, and even if I spent most of my time shirking what I was supposed to be doing (i.e schoolwork) to do what I wanted to be doing, it made the things I wanted to do seem more exciting. Now I've got nothing to do, so I can't even think of things I want to do. I need to find something else to live for besides just slash fic, my friends, and bands that I love so much it physically hurts me.
At the moment, it would be nice to get a job at Asahiya, or Kinokuniya. A modest goal, I suppose, which in itself is maybe running away from the larger issues, but still.