The end of the year

[oritsu_luv]

I can't believe it's almost the end of classes, and that things are almost over. Well, for everyone else. It's such a weird feeling not to be graduating yet. I mean, with all of this stuff for the seniors, and everyone worrying about what to do after graduation; I feel like I'm supposed to belong to all that, and yet I don't. I kind of feel like I don't really have a place. I'm not leaving with everyone, and yet...I'm still a senior. I mean...I have to participate in all the senior things now, or I won't get to, but I can't take place in the biggest one that well, is what makes seniors, seniors yet. I feel like no one knows, or cares about the first semester seniors. I've said this before, but I don't think that MHC should take people second semester, because it's not very good with dealing with us. There was nothing to intergrate us in the beginning, only for the international students, and no one seems to understand, or tell us anything about, what's supposed to happen with us graduating.
I can't even think about next semester. I know it's only a semester, and that's really not that long, but I'm already feeling like I shouldn't be coming back here, like I won't really have a class, or a place. I just feel really out of place right now.
Some people have asked me if I'm coming to graduation. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I don't think I can. I don't think I can watch all of you graduate. Not because it feels like I should be up there do, but because I don't think I can watch all of you leave.

Comments

Mina...

[inochinoakari.livejournal.com]

i understand. completely. i woke up this morning and realized, i'm not graduating this year. i was supposed to graduate, i'm supposed to be done and going out into the "real world". i'm not supposed to be in this weird limbo where i'm already in the real world yet school hasn't ended. i miss school, i miss everyone, i miss being a senior, i miss being HP, i miss everyone so much. i can't believe that somehow i screwed up enough to not be with everyone right now. i can't help thinking "what's wrong with me". so darling...you're not alone. ^^ i can't wait to see you. i love you, be well