oritsu_luv | No seriously, fuck my life

Nothing like bad news in the morning to destroy your tenuous grip on positivity and ruin the rest of your day.

ALL I want to do is go see fucking Miyavi, and possibly go to France for a week with my family.

Why is that so hard?

For a second we'll just leave aside all the other factors, like the fact that plane tickets are $1500 dollars now. Plus a 20 hour flight with possibly multiple layovers and...I don't even know if I have the energy to deal with any of that right now anyway. Or, to be more practical, the money. I don't.

Well, I just listened to my step-mom's messages from yesterday, which turned out to be a message saying that although they will be there from the beginning of June on, the week they were inviting Em and I to come to France is the 13th to the 20th. And that she's heard from Dad that there was some concert around I had tickets for around that time so she knew I'd have to do a lot of 'pondering and thinking about it'.

Yeah, fuck pondering and thinking. I fucking cried. I sat there, 28 years old, on the couch at 8:30 AM on my first Monday without a job in three years, and I fucking broke down and sobbed.

Because that concert? You bet your ass it's Miyavi. You know, only the one I've been looking forward to - not since I got tickets a few months ago, since last year when our show was canceled the day of. The one I effectively paid over $90 for, because I actually joined the fan club thinking I needed to be a member to get the pre-sale password.

Also. Yeah, I did tell my Dad about that concert. Specifically, I said, "Well, I've got that concert, so I have to be back in Cali by the 15th." Which would have been an AWESOME time for him to mention, "Oh yeah, actually that's the week we were inviting you to come up." NOT to say "Oh, that's going to be a problem...because that's the week your sister's going to be there."

Because oh your sister won't be there that week =/= that's actually the only week you're invited there

And I know probably everyone I talk to is going to say, well just sell your tickets to the concert and go to France, but it's not that simple.

Because we're talking about 1) the one thing I was looking forward to for MONTHS now
vs 2) The one thing I didn't think I was going to get to do but kind of made my getting laid off worth while.

Those two events are literally the only things I'm looking forward to right now.

I fucking hate everything right now.

I don't care if I'm being melodramatic, I don't care if I'm over reacting. I just lost my fucking job last week and all I wanted was something to look forward to despite all of that and now that's all fucked too.

Fuck this shit.